Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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