Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
