After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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