420 ftw
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Welp...herpes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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