remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
