you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
