So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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