How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
