brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My vagina is officially offended.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
