I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
