If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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