The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
