Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
