So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He felt like a one man threesome
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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