apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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