you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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