i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
