downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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