I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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