my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The ass gains better be worth it
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