Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
