My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
