Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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