so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
