This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
