was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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