I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Congratulations! We have a period
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