I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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