And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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