Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
