seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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