I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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