nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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