CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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