Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
