I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
