no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
