just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
