The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
