i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
