I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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