You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
