Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i think i have herpe
just one?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
