Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
