1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
