Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We are all done wearing pants today
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
