If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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