So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
