Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
