Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
