Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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