i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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