...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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