She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Holy sore nipples Batman
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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