shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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