please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
