I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
there is glitter all over my balls
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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