Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize