their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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