using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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