idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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