The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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