I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you win again, gameday.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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